While Kim was busy interviewing me on tour, I was busy interviewing her. The results are startling-
Tell us a little bit about yourself. Can we get it in a pro/con list?
Pro – sweet hair color, kind of sketchy but in a good way, computer skillz
Con – ginger (no soul), willfully redneck
So, you’re a bit of an amateur artist. How did you realize you were talented at drawing ridiculous photos for friends?
I did pencil sketches for like $40 a pop in high school. Real talk.
Recently, I spent four weeks traveling as part of the “Are You Listening?” Tour with Emery, Queens Club, Sent By Ravens, and Kiros. I can now say I’ve lived among 24 guys for 4 weeks, driven through 21 states in the same amount of time, spent 34 consecutive hours confined in a van with 6 guys, perfected something I’ve dubbed the “WalMart shower,” received quality medical care in a WalMart, learned to play craps in a tour bus, and laughed until I cried for 30 consecutive days. In a world that very much belongs to boys, this group of boys welcomed me into their lives with minimal and appopriate levels of sass and (dis)respect.
While I was immersed in this world, Kim decided to interview me. Here are the results-
Check out digital artist Ross Racine’s collection of fictional aerial shots of suburban landscapes here. There is something so surreal and so spooky about these!
Via Bad Banana
Food
Chemistry
(I don’t know how most people spend their last weekend home for six weeks, but this is what I did. Adventures will commence in 4 days but the sTOURies start now.)
In the movie of this tour/my life, I predict that I will have the artistic licensing capabilities to choose the actors who portray pivotal roles.
Ewan McGregor as the lead singer, a lyrical wizard composed of about 98% pure sass and 72% love of life.
Jude Law as the lead guitarist, a kind and gentle spirit/father figure. (I predict Jude will actually grow dreads for this role.)
Matthew McConaghuey as the rhythm guitarist, a Hawaiian native with a heart as big as his abnormally large fists, who may be the most unintentionally funny person I’ve ever met.
A young John Travolta as the bass player, a shy Floridian who is the most proficient sleep talker in the history of science.
Andy Samberg branches out from Saturday Night Live Digital Shorts to play the drummer, a Hawaiian human metronome with an addiction to his iPhone.
Seann William Scott as the tour manager, who keeps us grounded, likes to drive at night, and keeps the rest of the band from picking on the lone girl too much. (I realize Mr. Scott looks very little like the actual tour manager, but in the future, I will really want him in this movie.)
And lastly, a young Sigourney Weaver will play me, the merch girl, a hipster with a heart of gold, who is both intentionally and unintentionally awkward, perpetually young at heart and spirit, and who does not have a romantic side-story with any of the other characters. Ever.
(Y’all? Sometimes, a girl can travel and live with 6 guys for months at a time, and she does it with no romantic ulterior motives. I know, crazy, right? But not all merch girls are trying to sleep with musicians, sometimes they just like to travel and have adventures. In my experience, being a merch girl is 2 parts personal assistant, 4 parts life coach, and 16 parts little sister. No, seriously, they pick on me a LOT.)
